Thank You For The Rain

Emotional pain, grief, spiritual darkness. These times seem to come maybe more often than we'd like and although they are painful I am beginning to see God's goodness in them. As I celebrate Thanksgiving this weekend, I am thankful for the hard times, the struggles and the pain.

I am thankful for late nights of paper writing, hours of reading and impending deadlines because I means that I have the opportunity to pursue further education in seminary. It means that I get to spend my time learning about God and His Word so that I may in turn better minister to others. It's not easy, but it's worth it.

I am thankful for the alarm that I awake to in the morning because it means that God has blessed me with a job to go to. No, it's not my dream job and yes, there are many days that I grumble about having to go there, but I trust that God is using me in that workplace. 

I am thankful for the moments of darkness - physically, spiritually and emotionally because it is in those times that I learn God's comfort, faithfulness and hope. 

I am thankful for times of deep heartache because it is when my heart is broken that I am reminded that there is only One who can heal it. It's in those painful moments that His nearness and His Word are so precious.

I  am thankful for the struggle of singleness because it is through the longing and loneliness of this time in life that I am learning that God knows what I need far more than I do. I am reminded that Jesus is better and Jesus is enough.

I am thankful for the periods of time when the rain in life just doesn't seem to let up, when everything that could go wrong does and I'm left wondering how long this will last. When the storm is raging and I'm in over my head I lean on the truth that God is still good even when it doesn't seem like it. He.is.sovereign. 

No, it's not that I like pain or enjoy the hard times, and it doesn't mean that I have this all figured out, but time and time again I see that these difficult moments are ones of refining - ones where I see a new depth of God's character that I have never experienced before. It's in the struggles that I see the promises in God's Word to be true and the love of my Father to be unfailing. Those tough moments remind me that if I have Jesus, then I have everything that I need. The hard days are worth it if He gets the glory.

So Lord I pray,

"Bring me joy, bring my peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know they'll be days 
When this life bring me pain
But if that what it takes to praise You,
Jesus bring the rain."

(Bring the Rain, MercyMe)

Praise our God, all people,

let the sound of his praise be heard;

he has preserved our lives

and kept our feet from slipping.

- Psalm 66:8,9

Bolivia: Prayer Requests

As you read this I am on a plane headed for Bolivia. Exciting... and scary! In the last year I have really seen the power of prayer at work so I was wondering if you would pray for me while I'm gone.
Pray that:
- God would grant us safe and smooth travels to Bolivia
- God would give me His peace that passes ALL understanding as I am heading into this trip very fearful
- Our team would be united and really grow together over these 2.5 weeks
- I would be focused on Christ and not worried about missing school or all of the homework I have when I get back
- There would be MANY opportunities for us to share God's love and grace with the Bolivians
- Many people would begin a relationship with Jesus through listening to the radios
- New Christians would have the opportunity to grow in their relationships with God through the radio programs and their local church
- God would protect our team from illness while in Bolivia
- God would be glorified above all else

Thank you for praying dear friends. I am excited to share with you all that God is going to do during my time in Bolivia.

My Story: To Love and be Loved

The church is lined with fresh flowers, friends and family fill the room, I stand waiting with excitement in a gorgeous dress feeling more beautiful than I ever have. The double doors of the chapel are opened to reveal the man of my dreams waiting for me at the end of the aisle. 

This is the scene that has played over and over in my head sometimes on a daily basis. My heart swells with a hint of excitement only to be followed by a greater ache of loneliness as I am reminded that this dream is merely that... a dream. 

This struggle is not a new one, but one that has been around for a while. For many years now I have found myself on a constant search for someone to share my life with. There is this deep desire and craving in my heart for someone to love and be loved by. It started at the beginning of high school as friends were being told that there was someone that had a crush on them, I waited with a hope that there would be a boy that would like me. In university many friends were in serious dating relationships and again I was wondering when there would be a guy for me. As my time in university came to a close I began receiving wedding invitation after wedding invitation of friends that were getting married and still I hope that my time is next. 

It hasn't been easy to accept my single status and I've made a lot of mistakes in trying to change it. I eventually decided to take things into my own hands because the waiting game was getting old. I allowed myself to get involved in numerous unhealthy relationships that often went farther than they should have. I compromised physical and emotional boundaries in attempts to make these relationships what I wanted (or thought that I wanted) them to be. After many failed attempts, a myriad of guilt and a very broken heart many questions remained: "What am I doing wrong?" "How can I change myself so that I am more attractive?" "Why do I keep getting rejected?" I felt that somehow I was not complete or normal because I was single.

It was through my own failure and all of these questions that God showed me that the kind of love that I was looking for was not going to be found in these broken relationships, actually it wouldn’t be found in a human relationship at all. The unconditional, deep love that I wanted so badly would only be found in a relationship with Jesus. I had failed, I had made mistakes yet Jesus was willing to forgive it all so that I could have a personal relationship with God. God loves me far beyond my appearance, personality or my past. Realizing and learning that has completely changed my life.

Jesus gave up love and instead was completely rejected so that through Him I might have true love and intimacy in God. My desire for a man's love has been redirected to a desire for God's love. He has transformed this deep craving for love and intimacy and shown me that His love is the only love that will fully complete me and satisfy me, no man will ever be able to do that.

My story doesn't have a typical fairy tale 'happily ever after' ending. I'm not married, and I'm not even in a relationship, but what God has done in my life is so much more important. There are many days when I am completely content being single, but there are other days when I am not, in fact even as I type this I am dreading the fact that Valentine's Day is a few days away. What I can tell you though is that I would not trade anything for the relationship I have with God. I don’t have to try and be someone that I’m not just to get a date – God will provide for what I need and His love is more than enough.

This is just a small portion of my story and a glimpse into how God has played a crucial role in the person I am today. If you have any questions or would like to share your story I would love to talk.  

Abundantly loved by God,

Alana

I'm Going to Bolivia!

As you may or may not know, I am headed on a mission trip in just less than a month! From March 4 - 21, I will be going to Bolivia with a team from Pioneers to distribute a unique radio to the Quechua Indians so they can hear the Gospel.

Our two-week trip will see us working in the high elevations of Bolivia, where the need for the Gospel is great, and the oxygen is scarce. We’ll be travelling in by jeep and then walking into Quechua villages to distribute specially made solar radios which are pre-tuned to a single station to broadcast the Word of God.  Each of us will carry 100 Canadian made radios with us to Bolivia, which will allow thousands of the Quechua people to hear the word of God for the first time. God is moving in the hearts of these people who are desperate to hear the Word.

I will be completely honest, I am quite fearful heading into this trip. I am really scared and Satan is taking full advantage of that. The spiritual attack has been in abundance lately. I'm stressed about missing school and trying to get assignments done before I leave, I'm scared about team dynamics, and a new culture...  this list goes on. I have turned to Psalm 27, I like that it is titled "A Psalm of Fearless Trust in God." That's what I am praying for right now, fearless trust. I need to trust God for our safety, with my schoolwork, in our team... I need to give it ALL over to Him. As I shared my fears with a co-worker a few days go she said, "You are going to do God's work so I'm sure God will help you with your work." I needed to hear that. I am excited to go, my heart so badly wants the Quechua to be able to hear the Good News of the Gospel, sometimes the fear just overshadows that. This journey to Bolivia is going to be a challenging one (it already has been), but I also know it is going to be a growing one (again, it already has been). God is at work.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;

Whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the defense of my life;

Whom shall I dread?

- Psalm 27:1

Listening to His Voice

A few days ago I read a line from a song that a friend had tweeted. The lyrics were so powerful that I looked up the entire song and it was honestly a transforming moment. It doesn't happen very often, but these lyrics have messed me up... in a good way. Messed up my former ways of thinking and replaced them with these bold words. These words are real. honest. and so.very.true. They are convicting and humbling and God has used this beautiful outpouring to inspire a transformation in my heart. The song is Clear the Stage by Jimmy Needham, I just want to play it on repeat. This songs expresses the desire of my heart, yet that desire rarely becomes action. Today I was deeply saddened as I thought about all the time that I have wasted with my face in technology: Youtube videos, Facebook, iPhone apps, the list continues... Hours a day literally wasted on things that have little to no value. A little is okay, I mean I make a lot of plans with friends and my youth girls through these means and I'm not here to pretend like I'm never going to use my phone again, but for the most part I just waste loads of time. The sad part though, when I compare all that wasted time to how much time I spend with Jesus, in particular sitting and listening to Him. I proclaim I love God with all my heart, I sing about wanting to honour Him with my life and I say that He is my all - yet I can't remember the last time I just sat and listened. 

Lent begins on Wednesday. It has only been in the last few years that I have observed Lent. It bothers me that people "give things up" just for the heck of it. If I am 'participating' in Lent, I want it to be intentional and purposeful in growing in my relationship with God. I actually wasn't going to observe lent this year, well until I came across this song then I knew right away what I needed to do. During the Lenten season this year I am not just 'giving up,' but also making room for something else... time with Jesus, specifically time to listen to Jesus. For 40 days and hopefully longer I won't watch any Youtube videos and the time that I usually spend on Youtube (averaging an hour a day) I want to be intentional with spending time with Jesus. Every night I watch Youtube videos right before bed, I want that time to be spent with Jesus instead. One of my biggest fears is that I will look back and regret wasting so much time on useless and purposeless things. If I say I love Jesus as much as I do, then I want that to be evident, I want that to be lived out, I want it to be actions and not just words. May my worship be more than just a song.

That is my heart. It excites me to take this step, I mean let's be honest nothing bad is going to come from spending more time with Jesus. I'm looking forward to growing and hearing from my Saviour. 

Read these lyrics, but I warn you, God may use them to convict you and change your heart.

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols

Jerk the pews & all the decorations, too 

Until the congregations few, then have revival


Tell your friends that this is where the party ends 

Until you're broken for your sins, you can't be social

Then seek the Lord & wait for what He has in store 

And know that great is your reward so just be hopeful



'Cause you can sing all you want to

Yes, you can sing all you want to

You can sing all you want to

And still get it wrong; 
Oh, worship is more than a song



Take a break from all the plans that you have made 

And sit at home alone and wait for God to whisper

Beg Him please to open up His mouth and speak 

And pray for real upon your knees until they blister


Shine the light on every corner of your life 

Until the pride and lust and lies are in the open

Then read the Word and put to test the things you've heard 

Until your heart and soul are stirred and rocked and broken


'Cause you can sing all you want to

Yes, you can sing all you want to

You can sing all you want to

And still get it wrong; 
Oh, worship is more than a song


We must not worship something that's not even worth it

Clear the stage, make some space for the One who deserves it


Anything I put before my God is an idol
Anything I want with all my heart is an idol
And anything I can't stop thinking of is an idol
And anything that I give all my love is an idol


'Cause I can sing all I want to

Yes, I can sing all I want to

And we can sing all we want to
We can sing all we want to
We can sing all we want to

And still get it wrong

Worship is more than a song

Clear the stage and set the sound and lights ablaze

If that's the measure you must take to crush the idols

Winter Wonderland

A Desire to Read the Word

Something I have struggled with for a while always struggled with is getting into God's Word on a daily basis. I would have good intentions to start a reading plan or a devotion book and then after a few days, a week or a month I would get lazy and fall out of the consistency. Something that is hard for me admit is that I have never read the Bible all the way through. Can you say worst seminary student ever?!

Since I've started seminary though, God has grown my love and desire for the Word and I have a desire like never before to get in to the Word and truly get to know it and more importantly get to know God more.

All this to say today I started a full year reading plan to read the Bible all the way through. Instead of just started from Genesis and reading through to Revelation, I've decided to read in chronological order for a number of reasons. First because I think it will allow me to better understand God's story as a whole in the order in which it occurred. Also because I will at times be reading through multiple books at once providing variety and better understanding of the more difficult OT books. This scares me mainly because I am afraid that I will fail [again], but I am entrusting this into God's hands and praying that He gives me the diligence to follow through. So far, Day 1 is complete.

Don't Miss Now

I have been truly savoring my commute to school every week. It's my quiet time to talk to and listen to God and worship Him through music. Today as I was driving home I was listening to a message about growing in God. The speaker shared about different seasons of life and how as a single he had much more time to devote to growing in his relationship with God - now as a husband and father of 3, his time and energy are spread thin. God spoke directly to my heart because lately I have really been wishing away days, areas and seasons of my life. I can't wait to get out of my job in retail and I frequently apartment hunt in hopes of moving out of my parents house and then there is the usual - wishing I wasn't single. Today God showed me that I wasn't living today, but rather am constantly wishing it were tomorrow.

During a meeting a few years ago with a former boss he shared with me that he had so many things on the go at that time. He was organizing multiple events and was travelling to various cities in that week. He just kept telling himself that if he could just get through the next few days then things would be better, calmer, easier to handle. It was then that God reminded him not to miss what He was doing now. Not to brush off what He was teaching him during that busyness. I haven't forgot this story. I haven't forgot it because God used it to convict me of the very same thing. Quite often I find myself wishing away the days, waiting for that day off or next season in life - in doing that, I pass right by the things that God is trying to teach me today.

I don't want to look back and see time wasted, time that could have been used to learn, grow or teach. Opportunities that could have been used to share my faith and make disciples. Soon I won't be at my retail job anymore, eventually I won't be living in my parents house and one day I won't be single, but until then I desire to make the most of these situations. I know that God has me exactly where I am today for a reason, for a purpose and I pray that I will bring glory to His name by living that out. I want to live out today, instead of wishing it were tomorrow.

"Do not boast about tomorrow, For you do not know what a day may bring forth." - Proverbs 27:1

Today I am thankful for...

1. My church. I am SO thankful that God has led me here. It it a real blessing to belong to a church that loves God fully, wants to know Him and His Word more and truly desires to make disciples. Sundays have become my absolute favourite day and I just love to worship with my church family every week.

2. Rest. I got hit with the flu this week and I spent a few days out of commission. God reminded me that I am not invincible and that I was relying on my own strength instead of His. Thankful for that much needed reminder.

3. Snow tires. Now that I am driving a lot more and it is the dead of winter I am thankful that I have snow tires on my car. Commuting an hour and 15 min. to school every week would not be the same without good tires, it may seem silly, but as I drive along snow/ice covered roads I feel more at peace knowing that at least I have some grip on the roads.

4. School. Seminary is a lot of work, but I love it. It's challenging and overwhelming at times, but it is a blessing to be studying again and what better to study than God and His word. I am incredibly thankful for the privilege and find myself in awe time and time again as I learn new things about the God that I worship and the Word that He gave us.

The Life of a Seminary Student

It Is Well With My Soul

One of my all time favourite hymns.

The lyrics speak multitudes and declare the assurance of salvation we as Christians have in Christ.

As the worship team began it at church on Sunday I smiled because I needed to hear it, I needed to sing out those words. (Thanks God!)

As I sang this hymn, that I have sang many times before, words and meaning came alive in a new way.

1. When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
   When sorrows like sea billows roll;
   Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
   It is well, it is well, with my soul.
   • It is well, with my soul,
     It is well, it is well, with my soul.
2. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
   Let this blest assurance control,
   That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
   And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
3. My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
   My sin, not in part but the whole,
   Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
   Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
4. And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
   The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
   The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
   Even so, it is well with my soul.

I've been really stressed lately and overwhelmed with everything that is on my plate. I really enjoy the areas the I am serving in and I love seminary, but it is A LOT of work! I know that I will get used to the busyness again, but it'll take some time. As I sang out these words I was reminded that through it ALL, whatever lies before me - papers, exams, missions trip, work, pain, joy - It is WELL with my soul because it belongs to Jesus. Part of this transformation that Christ is doing in me is teaching me to rest in Him, His yolk is easy and His burden is light. When stress and anxiousness well up inside of me, He is teaching me to turn to Him and leave it at the foot of the cross.

Through the stress, anxiety and lies that Satan feeds me - Jesus whispers "Be still and know that I am God." Paul writes at the end of Romans 8 that NOTHING can separate us from Christ and I rest in that promise tonight. Whatever the next week, month, year holds, my soul will remain His. My future is secure, it's in His hands. I await the day when my faith shall be sight, and I see my Saviour face to face.

One Word Can Make A Big Difference

As I wrote in a previous post, I have prayed and chosen one word for this year. One word that will be my focus, my prayer and the basis for the goals that I set. This year... transform.

transform
1. to alter or be altered radically in form, function, etc.
2. to change in form, appearance or structure; metamorphose 
3. to change in condition, nature or character

I pray that this will be the year that I am changed dramatically for God's glory. That this would be the year that all of the promises that I have been making to God and to myself would be followed through. To spend more time with Jesus, to take care of my body, to be a good steward of time and money... the list goes on. There are so many things that need to change in my life and frankly I have just been too lazy to make an effort to change them. This is the year for change. The year that I will allow God to transform areas of my life that I have not allowed Him to in the past.

I am praying that God will transform...
- my walk with Him to be deeper than every before
- the direction of my life guiding me to what I am passionate about
- me physically as I seek to honour Him with my body by eating healthy and exercising often
- my thought life to be focused more on Him
- my understanding and love for His character
- my desire to give for the sake of the Gospel
- my feelings of loneliness as a single into a more intimate relationship with Him
- my heart and devotion for Him - I want to be ALL IN

I pray that I will look back at the end of 2013 and see a radical, God-glorifying transformation in my life. I set out on this journey knowing that I can accomplish not one single thing on that list above without Jesus. I will and do fail without Him. Romans 12 is my Scripture for the year. I want to memorize, but more importantly live it.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect." - Romans 12:2

Dear Jesus,
This is my prayer for this year, that You would completely transform me inside and out. Lord, I desire to be Your light in a very dark world, that Your love would be shown through me. I pray that You would transform my soul, my heart, my mind and my body to glorify You. May the words of Romans 12 be true of my life. Transform me Jesus into Your image. Amen.

{Linking up with Melanie at ONLYABREATH for the January One Word Link Up Party! }

Purpose in the Purposeless

Ever since starting my job in retail over a year ago, it's been a struggle. A struggle to find purpose in what seems like such a meaningless job. My plan was to be at this job for a couple of months before moving on, but God had a different plan. A better plan. Over the past year I have struggled with going to work with joy and a positive attitude when it was the last place that I wanted to be. God has given me glimpses to His purpose[s] in having me at this job and encouraged me not to waste this opportunity to be a light for Him in what can sometimes be a dark place.

Saturdays are my absolute least favourite day to work. It always seems like everyone else has the day off and I have to get up early and spend the entire day at work. This past Saturday as I was laying in bed dreading getting up and going to work I opened the Bible app on my phone and the verse of the day was Colossians 3:23-24. How appropriate.

"Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men, knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve."

I can't say that I love going to my job, but I can say that I am learning. Every day I go there I am learning. Learning to have a positive attitude, learning to choose joy and learning that God has a purpose {or purposes} in having me at this job. He has put me in a place where I interact with over 25 non-Christian co-workers plus hundreds of customers - what a unique opportunity to share my faith, an opportunity that I do NOT want to be wasted. I don't know how much longer I will be at this job, but I do know that I don't want to look back with regret that I ignored the opportunities that God placed before me.

Dear Jesus,
I pray that each and every day I would be reminded to work for You and not anyone else. May I choose to have a positive attitude and a heart of joy. May I be aware of the many opportunities that You give me to share my faith and may I truly make a difference for You in the lives of my coworkers. I want them to know You. Amen.

Back to School

This girl is excited because she becomes a student again this week!
That's right, I'm going back to school, seminary to be exact.
Thursday marks my first day of my Masters of Theological Studies degree. I am beyond excited.
Excited because I love learning, reading and writing papers - really I do, but more excited because this is the first step in doing what I am passionate about. For so long I have asked God for direction for the future and tried to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. In the past year God has been reveal next steps to me and showing me how the opportunities of my past have helped to prepare me. I want to and believe that God is calling me into church ministry and more specifically family and youth ministry.
I am thrilled, blessed and anticipating an exciting year ahead.
I still don't know exactly everything God has in store this year, but I trust that it will be growing, stretching and hopefully fun!

Here's to a new chapter in my God's story for me.

One Word 2013

A few years ago I was spending New Year's Eve at a student conference and a friend of mine shared with me that every year she prays and asks God for a word for that year. Something that He wants to teach, a point of focus, a way to grow. I liked this concept and began doing the same. In years past my words have included trust, joy, change and this year I knew clearly what my word needed to be.

(Thanks Melanie @ OnlyABreath for the button! I'm looking forward to connecting every month.)

I discovered oneword365 through my best friend's blog which is described as this:

Choose one word.

One word sums up who you want to be or how you want to live. 

One word that you can focus on every day, all year long. 

It will take intentionality and commitment, but if you let it, your word will shape you and your year.  it will guide your decisions and help you grow. 

Discover the big impact one word can make. 

One word. 

365 days.

A changed life. 

Although I have made goals for 2013 they all center around transformation. As my blog is titled 'Into His Likeness' I desire to be transformed - into the image of Christ, into the woman God wants me to be and into a committed disciple of His. As I mentioned in my previous post I have committed to Romans 12 as my Scripture and prayer for this year. I want to memorize it and live it. 

Romans 12

"Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. ² And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

³ For through the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think more highly of himself than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has allotted to each a measure of faith. ⁴ For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, ⁵ so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. ⁶ Since we have gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, each of us is to exercise them accordingly: if prophecy, according to the proportion of his faith; ⁷ if service, in his serving; or he who teaches, in his teaching; ⁸ or he who exhorts, in his exhortation; he who gives, with^[h]liberality; he who leads, with diligence; he who shows mercy, with cheerfulness.

⁹ Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good. ¹⁰ Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor; ¹¹ not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; ¹² rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, ¹³ contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.

¹⁴ Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. ¹⁵ Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. ¹⁶ Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. ¹⁷ Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men. ¹⁸ If possible, so far as it depends on you,be at peace with all men. ¹⁹ Never take your own revenge, beloved, but ^[p]leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. ²⁰ “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” ²¹ Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."

As I've been praying over the last few days I submitted to God that I want to move deeper in my relationship with Him, step out more than I ever have, be bold and that he would rid the sin that is in my life no matter how painful the process. I am praying that I would be transformed into a disciple that is completely sold out for her Master. That my life would not be my own, but His. His path, His ways, His Word.

I encourage you to choose a word for your year. Ask God how He wants to grow you, what he wants to teach you. Commit 2013 to Him.

2013 Goals

I know, it's a big list but 2013 is going to be a big year, like I said before I'm dreaming big and praying bigger. Also, many of these things I should already be doing - many are Biblical and things I am called to as a  follower of Jesus. I don't make these goals to show how good I can be, but rather to show that I can't be these things without Jesus. 

I'm a girl who thrives off of lists and action points which is why I've included both...

1. More time with Jesus

Through my advent journey I have just fallen more in love with Jesus and am so motivated to spend more time with Him. I'm still planning out what to read/study, but it's exciting!

Actions: set aside time first thing in the morning and before I go to bed, find devotions/Bible plans on Youversion on my phone.

2. Pray specifically and fervently

I witnessed the power of prayer in big ways in 2012 and I've been encouraged to pray boldly for my friends, family, church, the world and myself.

Actions: attend prayer meetings at church, continue a prayer journal, write prayer requests on my white board, put up a world map in my room

3. Run a 10 km race

Last year I ran my very first race, a 5k, and it was a great feeling and definitely pushed me to run more and train for another race. This year I'm aiming for a 10k and the training has already begun.

Actions: research races close by, sign up in advance for motivation, find a friend who will join me (any takers?)

4. Read {a least} 12 new books (textbooks not included)

I have over a dozen books on my bookshelf that I have yet to read, I want to read them I just haven't made it a priority. I figured one a month is a good goal.

5. Don't by any new DVDs

My bookshelf is also full of DVDs, it's ridiculous. I watch them often, but really don't need to buy any more right now and as I'm trying (and needing) to be wise with my finances this is a small way I am doing so.

Actions: telling others for accountability

6. Avoid excess

This one is off to a great start. My sister and I have been extremely motivated to get rid of all of the excess in our lives starting with possessions. We've decided to have a garage sale in the spring and have been sorting through our rooms and getting rid of heaps that we will sell. It feels great and I hope to continue this purging.

Actions: continue sorting and getting rid of, ask myself "Do I really need this?" in the store

7. Live simply

This one goes nicely with the previous. I have been convicted to live simply in all areas - finances, possessions, health. I want to learn to say no to what the world tells us that we need.

8. Drink more water

I started doing this at the end of last year and I must say it made me feel better overall, I want to keep it up.

Actions: keep water bottles in my locker at work, school bag, car, on my desk;

9. Choose JOY

If you read my reflection of 2012 you will know that this is something God was {and still is} teaching me. Whether it's going to work, school, or just being at home I pray that I will choose joy.

10. Run a total of 600 km

This one scares me a little bit, but it is also really motivating. That's a lots of kilometers. I bought a used treadmill with Christmas money and have really enjoyed running on it so far, so hopefully during the cold months this will help me to reach this goal. 

Actions: print a chart to keep track

11. Continue cutting out refined sugar from my diet

This is something I started to do towards the end of last year and I noticed an incredible difference in how I felt - no sugar highs/crashes, no sick feeling after too much, more energy - The Christmas season caught me off track, but I need to start weening it out again.

Actions: cut up fruits and veggies at the beginning of the week, use maple syrup/honey instead of white sugar in tea/coffee

12. Write and mail a letter every month to a friend who is far away

Most of my best friends live at least 1 1/2 hours away - letter writing is so thoughtful and personal, I hope to bless my friends with this goal.

Actions: make a list of who I want to write to

13. Love sacrificially

I pray that God's benevolent love would overflow from my life into the lives of those around me. His love, not mine. His strength, not mine. 

14. Go on a road trip

Last year it was Watertown/Syracuse with 3 of my best friends and it.was.a.blast! I'm excited for where it will be this year.

15. Don't forget to rest

More specifically guarding my Sabbath, it is a much needed day of rest.

Actions: get schoolwork done on other days in order to have Sunday to rest

16. Less TV and Internet more creativity

I eat up hours and hours of time doing unproductive things (Pinterest, Youtube videos, etc.) on my computer and watching TV - instead I'd like to be more creative: writing, painting, playing piano, doing crafts, crocheting... the possibilities are endless.

17. Study hard

I start seminary classes in one week! I feel extremely blessed to have this opportunity and I want to be a good steward with it. 

Actions: write due dates in my agenda, get work hours dropped down to 20 hours a week in order to have more time for schoolwork

18. Live intentionally 

With my actions. With my words. With my friendships. With my relationship with God. Our time here is short, I don't want to waste it.

19. Serve compassionately

God has presented me with so many opportunities to do this and I pray that I would serve wholeheartedly for His glory, not my own.

20. Share the Gospel often

Jesus commands us to share the Gospel, I want to share what He has done in my life - I would like to start with my coworkers.

21. Invite friends to church

Again, I would like to start with my coworkers. I praying hard for them and would love to see them come to church/ church activities. 

Actions: start by inviting them to the winter carnival we are having at the end of the month

22. Give generously

In finances, in time, in energy. 

Actions: set up automatic withdrawal for my tithe, plan out my schedule

23. Have fun

Sometimes I am just far too serious. Even if it's just an hour or two a month, I need to take time for spontaneous fun.

24. Set boundaries and say NO sometimes

Being a people pleaser, when someone asks me to do something, I always want to say yes sometimes for the sole reason of making them happy. I need to work on this God is working on this in me.

Actions: Pray before making decisions, don't feel the need to answer right away

25. Flee from gossip

This is hard at work, really hard. I'd say at least 50% of the conversation that takes place is gossip. I don't want to be a part of it. I am praying that God will show me ways to flee from it while still maintaining my relationships with these coworkers.

26. More coffee dates with friends and youth

Quality time is my top love language so I really appreciate coffee dates and I pray that it will allow me to further my relationships with my youth girls.

Actions: make a list of who I'd like to meet with, schedule one a month

27. Memorize Romans 12

I am going to write a whole post on this, but this is my Scripture for the year so I figure it's on 20-some-odd verses so why not memorize it.

Actions: print it off and post it on my wall, start memorizing during my quiet times

Dear Jesus,

I bring these dreams and goals before You knowing that You know everything that is going to happen in 2013 and recognizing that Your plan is above all. I pray that I wouldn't become lazy towards these things, but be motivated as You continue to transform me into Your image. Ultimately Lord I do these things to bring glory to You. I can't do any of this without You. Amen.

Twenty.Twelve in Review

I said this as I reflected on 2011 and I'll say it again this year as I think back upon last year: 2012 was a hard year. Feeling stuck. Loneliness. An accident. SO MANY changes. My life looks a lot different today than it did at the beginning of 2012.

If I had to pick one word to describe 2012 I would choose change. My life took on a "new normal" this year in a lot of ways. Church. Family. Myself. I don't like change. It usually stresses me out. As I look back though I couldn't be more grateful and excited for where God has brought me. I am thankful for the opportunities that He has given me this year and the necessary changes that He did make in my life. I am also extremely excited for what is to come in 2013. I'm dreaming big and prayer bigger.

I'm beginning to {finally} learn that through struggles and hardships God grows us and reminds us of His character. Through starting at a new church, my dad's motorcycle accident and recovery, bouts of loneliness and crying out to God for direction - He grew my trust in Him and my love for Him is greater than it ever has been. God taught me much about His character and He also taught me a lot about the person He created me to be. He revealed things that I am passionate about and ways that I love serving. God showed me that as I trust Him, my relationship with Him grows deeper. This was my favourite song in 2012. There were days that I needed to hear these words so badly that I played it on repeat. Such truth in these lyrics.

Not For a Moment (After All) - Meredith Andrews

You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water,
Even when I could not see.
In the middle of it all, when I thought you were a thousand miles away.
Not for a moment, did You forsake me.
Not for a moment, did You forsake me.

After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise.
Even when I could not hear.
I was held in Your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show,
Not for a moment did You forsake me.

After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

And every step, every breath You are there.
Every tear, every cry, every breath.
In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.

Another big lesson I learned in 2012 (and am still learning) is to choose JOY. There was so many days that I would wake up and just want to stay in bed instead of going to work. There were also many days that I would go to work so grumpy and have a bad attitude all day because I didn't want to be there. God convicted me and challenged me to choose joy over negativity. I posted "Choose Joy" in my car so that I am reminded everyday to have joy in Christ instead of in my circumstances. Making this decision has made days in retail much better.

"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4

2012 definitely ended on an exciting note with much anticipation of things to come in 2013. God has brought me so many new opportunities and has given me direction for the next steps in my life. There were many times over the past year that I spent crying out to God asking Him what to do, where to go, what decisions to make - He has brought me to a place that I never would have imagined for myself and I love it! I am so excited about life and am thrilled to be serving God in the opportunities that He has given me. 

Dear Jesus,

Thank You for 2012 - for the times of joy, times of sadness, times of loneliness and times of confusion - thank You for it all. I praise You for all that You taught me and the many ways that You grew me this past year. Thank You for showing me joy even in the deep valleys and giving me Your peace in the middle of the storms. My love for You has grown deeper than it ever has been and I cherish my relationship with You more than I ever have. I pray Lord that this would be the beginning of even more growth in my life as You continue to transform me. Thank You for keeping Your promises, never leaving me and walking with me through it all. I love You. Amen.

Advent: Reflection

As I think back on the 25 days of advent, the one thing that I came away with was a greater awe of God. As I read and wrote everyday about His different names and characteristics I found myself overwhelmed. That the God who is all powerful, all loving, all knowing and all mighty would want a relationship with me is so much to fathom. As much as advent made me excited for Christmas, it made me even more excited for the second coming of Jesus. I took 25 days to really seek to know God better, yet we are living in the advent of the second coming - I need to be seeking to know Him better EVERYDAY. I am so motivated to dive into the Word and seek God's face in 2013. I pray that I will spent more time with Jesus, take time to talk and listen to Him and develop my relationship with Him. For the first time, I really celebrated my relationship with Jesus on Christmas - yes I'm thankful for the gifts, but they didn't seem to matter as much this year. I found myself in awe of all that He had done and all that He promises to do. This Christmas I celebrated Jesus.