I said this as I reflected on 2011 and I'll say it again this year as I think back upon last year: 2012 was a hard year. Feeling stuck. Loneliness. An accident. SO MANY changes. My life looks a lot different today than it did at the beginning of 2012.
If I had to pick one word to describe 2012 I would choose change. My life took on a "new normal" this year in a lot of ways. Church. Family. Myself. I don't like change. It usually stresses me out. As I look back though I couldn't be more grateful and excited for where God has brought me. I am thankful for the opportunities that He has given me this year and the necessary changes that He did make in my life. I am also extremely excited for what is to come in 2013. I'm dreaming big and prayer bigger.
I'm beginning to {finally} learn that through struggles and hardships God grows us and reminds us of His character. Through starting at a new church, my dad's motorcycle accident and recovery, bouts of loneliness and crying out to God for direction - He grew my trust in Him and my love for Him is greater than it ever has been. God taught me much about His character and He also taught me a lot about the person He created me to be. He revealed things that I am passionate about and ways that I love serving. God showed me that as I trust Him, my relationship with Him grows deeper. This was my favourite song in 2012. There were days that I needed to hear these words so badly that I played it on repeat. Such truth in these lyrics.
Not For a Moment (After All) - Meredith Andrews
You were reaching through the storm, walking on the water,
Even when I could not see.
In the middle of it all, when I thought you were a thousand miles away.
Not for a moment, did You forsake me.
Not for a moment, did You forsake me.
After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
You were singing in the dark, whispering Your promise.
Even when I could not hear.
I was held in Your arms, carried for a thousand miles to show,
Not for a moment did You forsake me.
After all, You are constant.
After all, You are only good.
After all, You are sovereign.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
And every step, every breath You are there.
Every tear, every cry, every breath.
In my hurt, at my worst, when my world falls down.
Not for a moment, will You forsake me.
Another big lesson I learned in 2012 (and am still learning) is to choose JOY. There was so many days that I would wake up and just want to stay in bed instead of going to work. There were also many days that I would go to work so grumpy and have a bad attitude all day because I didn't want to be there. God convicted me and challenged me to choose joy over negativity. I posted "Choose Joy" in my car so that I am reminded everyday to have joy in Christ instead of in my circumstances. Making this decision has made days in retail much better.
"Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing." - James 1:2-4
2012 definitely ended on an exciting note with much anticipation of things to come in 2013. God has brought me so many new opportunities and has given me direction for the next steps in my life. There were many times over the past year that I spent crying out to God asking Him what to do, where to go, what decisions to make - He has brought me to a place that I never would have imagined for myself and I love it! I am so excited about life and am thrilled to be serving God in the opportunities that He has given me.
Dear Jesus,
Thank You for 2012 - for the times of joy, times of sadness, times of loneliness and times of confusion - thank You for it all. I praise You for all that You taught me and the many ways that You grew me this past year. Thank You for showing me joy even in the deep valleys and giving me Your peace in the middle of the storms. My love for You has grown deeper than it ever has been and I cherish my relationship with You more than I ever have. I pray Lord that this would be the beginning of even more growth in my life as You continue to transform me. Thank You for keeping Your promises, never leaving me and walking with me through it all. I love You. Amen.
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