Blessings

It seems like I write on this topic often.
Maybe I don't learn the first time.
Maybe writing helps me to process everything that is going on.
Maybe it's one way I can praise God in the storm.
I think it's all of the above.

To say that I've been on a roller coaster these past 6 weeks would be an understatement, my emotions and mood are up and down on a good day. Lately I've been all over the place and sometimes I go from joyful to bawling my eyes out in the matter of 5 minutes. Seriously, in the past half an hour I have laughed and cried, multiple times. Exahusting... VERY!

As much as I dislike these difficult times, they truly are time of the greatest growth in my relationship with God. Each time, I learn more about who God is, the truth of His Word and the strength of His promises. No, these storms of life are not fun... at all, but it's worth it. It really is. It's in the storms that God reveals everything His Word tells us about His character to be true.

When everything that you've been leaning on falls out from underneath you, it's then you realize that you weren't the one holding on to begin with.
When He is all you have, you learn that He is all you need.
It's always hard to say this during the storm, but I am thankful for the hard times, the painful times and the confusing times.

What if my greatest disappointments, 
Or the aching of this life 
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
What if trials of this lifeThe rain, the storms, the hardest nightsAre your mercies in disguise - Blessings, Laura Story

God didn't give you the life that you have because He thought you could handle it, He gave it to you because He knew that you couldn't. It's through the rain, the thunder, and the crashing waves that I realize that I need Him more that I even know. I seem to have to learn this over and over again (if I could only learn things the first time around)!

The truth is, I am blessed, incredibly blessed. We all are.
Blessed with simple things like the cool fall breeze, a warm mug of tea, a hug from a friend.
Overwhelmed with the love of the family of God, and the generosity of friends and family.
Amazed by the mercies of God, the hope found in Him, and the deep, deep love shown on the Cross.

Thank You Jesus that You are the Comforter, Healer and Giver of Every Breath. Thank You for these times that remind us that Your Word is true and Your love never fails. These times grow my love for You and show me that You remain sovereign even in the chaos. Jesus I trust You with the past hurts, present pain and future disappointments knowing that You will bring good out of it all. You are good and You are faithful. Thank You Lord for that. I love You Jesus, with all that I am.

I'm His Mess

Yes, I'm a Christian.
Yes I can be the biggest hypocrite.
I backslide. I stumble. I fall.
I stray onto the wrong path.
But God is working in me.
Teaching me. Growing me. Shaping me.
I may be a mess, but I'm HIS mess
He is slowly straightening me out,
Directing each step as I allow Him to lead me.
And the day will come when I will stand before Him, His work in me complete.
Until that day I will take His hand, and let Him do in me whatever needs to be done no matter how painful it will be.
That He would use me, to reach others, for His glory.
When He is finished, it will all be worth it.

*inspired by a post on Tumblr 

The Struggle With Loneliness

I am single.

Most days I am completely okay with it. I am a fairly independent person and a strong introvert so I do need  a lot of time on my own.

Some days though I feel lonely, really lonely.
Today is one of those days.
One of those days that I wish I had someone to go for a walk with, watch a movie with, study the Bible with... walk through life with. It happens every once and a while and I'm still learning how to combat these deep feelings of loneliness. It's on days like today that I realize that I'm not believing that Jesus alone is enough.

I think it's okay to want to be with someone, to want to get married - after all, God created us as social and emotional beings who long for relationship. A Godly relationship is a good thing. Although, as Mark Driscoll says, "Idolatry is taking a good thing and making it a god thing and that's a bad thing." Relationships/longing for a relationship is definitely an idol that I struggle with. It consumes a lot of my thought life sometimes and often I find my heart aching for someone.

Days when I'm feeling so lonely, instead of turning to girly movies and Christian romance novels I need to turn to Jesus. I need to surrender my loneliness to Him and lean on His promise that He will never leave me or forsake me (Hebrews 13:5). I need to remember that true love is when a Man wipes your tears even after you left him hanging on the cross for your sins. No man will EVER even come close to filling the void that only Jesus can fill. I don't want to look back on my season (or life) of singleness and see a time of lost potential - potential to spend as much time with Jesus is possible. I don't want to waste it wishing and longing and dreaming about a husband, I want to spend it giving Jesus my all and serving Him wholeheartedly. I'm not sharing all of this because I have it all figured out, I'm sharing it because I don't. I'm still learning.

"As a single woman, give your heart fully, wholly, unabashedly, and devotedly to Christ alone."

I'm sure that there will be many more days of loneliness, but may they be times when I am reminded that Jesus alone is enough and cling to Him even more. What if I'm single for 10 more years, or 20, or for the rest of my life? Then Jesus will still be enough. As hard as that is to say, He is enough. Him and Him alone.

"And He has said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.' Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."                     - 2 Corinthians 12:9

Thanksgiving Chair

I came across this video on Facebook this morning and knew that it was one that needed to be shared. What an excellent reminder to give thanks continually, in ALL circumstances. Happy Thanksgiving!

A Psalm for Thanksgiving

I have been just loving this Psalm lately. It's such an outpouring of praise to God for who He is and it stirs my soul to read these words. It reminds me again of just how blessed and thankful I am to have a relationship with God. Read through and be reminded of the powerful and loving God that we serve.

Praise for the LORD's Mercies

103 Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.
² Bless the Lord, O my soul,
And forget none of His benefits;
³ Who pardons all your iniquities,
Who heals all your diseases;
⁴ Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with lovingkindness and compassion;
⁵ Who satisfies your years with good things,
So that your youth is renewed like the eagle.

⁶ The Lord performs righteous deeds
And judgments for all who are oppressed.
⁷ He made known His ways to Moses,
His acts to the sons of Israel.
⁸ The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
Slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness.
⁹ He will not always strive with us,
Nor will He keep His anger forever.
¹⁰ He has not dealt with us according to our sins,
Nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
So great is His lovingkindness toward those who fear Him.
¹² As far as the east is from the west,
So far has He removed our transgressions from us.
¹³ Just as a father has compassion on his children,
So the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him.
¹⁴ For He Himself knows our frame;
He is mindful that we are but dust.

¹⁵ As for man, his days are like grass;
As a flower of the field, so he flourishes.
¹⁶ When the wind has passed over it, it is no more,
And its place acknowledges it no longer.
¹⁷ But the lovingkindness of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him,
And His righteousness to children’s children,
¹⁸ To those who keep His covenant
And remember His precepts to do them.

¹⁹ The Lord has established His throne in the heavens,
And His ^[h]sovereignty rules over all.
²⁰ Bless the Lord, you His angels,
Mighty in strength, who perform His word,
Obeying the voice of His word!
²¹ Bless the Lord, all you His hosts,
You who serve Him, doing His will.
²² Bless the Lord, all you works of His,
In all places of His dominion;
Bless the Lord, O my soul!

Not For a Moment

Apparently I'm in the blogging mood, of course at midnight when I need to be sleeping! I have wanted to share this song for a long time because it has been my favourite for the past month. For those of you who don't know, my dad was in a serious motorcycle accident on September 12 and it has been a really challenging time for my family. I am working on a post all about the accident as it is really helping me process, but it is taking a while to write as I usually get pretty emotional as I go over things in my mind. So that will come, but for now I just wanted to share these wonderful lyrics with you. Such truth, take a listen.

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

And every step, every breath you are there
Every tear, every cry, every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me

Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

True Thanksgiving

thanks·giv·ing [thangks-giv-ing]
the act of giving thanks; grateful acknowledgment of benefits or favors, especially to God.

If you were to ask me what I am thankful for, most Thanksgiving weekends I would respond: friends and family or living in Canada or not having to worry about where my next meal was coming from... not this Thanksgiving. Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for those things and I definitely take them fore granted often, but this year I am thankful for so much more.

I am thankful that I have a relationship with God. I've really been thinking a lot about this lately and truly don't know how I would even take a single breath without Him. He makes all the difference.

I am thankful that God is a God of miracles. My family can sure attest to this let me tell you. God has revealed His power and sovereignty to us over and over again through my dad's accident. From the time of the crash to his recover even today, I continue to see miracles through it all.

I am thankful that God spared my dad's life on September 12, despite everyone around him being confident that he wasn't going to make it. God is in control! (Can I get an AMEN!?)

I am thankful that God's mercies are new EVERY morning (Lamentations 3:22-23). God has been showing me this in a very real way this past month.

I am thankful that God is the same yesterday, today and forever. He doesn't change, His faithfulness remains. Through this last month I have been constantly reminded that even though life is hard, God is still good and He is still faithful.

I am thankful that even when my dad was still so confused, God allowed His truth to remain in my dad's heart and mind.

I am thankful that through this tragedy God is using our family to be a megaphone of His love, faithfulness, and hope to some many people around us. To Him be the glory.

I am thankful that God comforts us in our pain, strengthens us in our weakness and celebrates with us in our joy.

I am thankful that in my exhaustion from balancing work and life and hospital visits God lifts me up on wings like eagles and carries me through.

Most of all though, I am thankful for the Cross. I am thankful that through the death of Jesus Christ, we can know God personally. If God had decided that my dad's time here was finished on September 12, he would have been embraced by the arms of his Saviour as he entered his eternal home (and he one day will be!).


You see, this Thanksgiving weekend I won't be enjoying a turkey dinner, pumpkin pie or sitting around a dinner table with family, but I have SO much to be thankful for. Thank.You.Jesus.