He showed me that by complaining about and rejecting my life here, I was saying to Him that I didn't like His plan and I wanted something different. It also showed a lot of pride on my part, that I thought I knew better than God (that's never a good idea!). That convicted my heart. Loving God, Creator of the Universe and Saviour of my soul has promised me plans that will not harm me, but give me a hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11) and has showed me that He works all things for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28). I thought that I knew better and I figured that by taking things into my own hands I could create for myself the life that I thought I wanted. Boy was I wrong. As per usual.
Sometimes God reveals to me glimpses of how He is using me here and the reasons for calling me to stay - I'm thankful for those moments because He gives me the strength to keep going. I still see a lot of healing that can take place in my heart and in my relationships with others through being here. When I stood before God telling Him I was willing to go to the ends of the earth for Him I excluded the idea of Him sending me home. He said I want you here and finally I've said "Here I am."
God has brought me to a place of contentment. Contentment in His will, contentment in being single, contentment in being at home - Contentment in Jesus. It doesn't mean everything is perfect, it just means it is in His control. He is good, SO good. Yes, there are moments and days when I just want things to be different, but it's in those times that God calls me to trust Him deeper and obey His Word.
Greater things are yet to come,
Greater things are still to be done in the city.
Greater things are yet to come,
Greater things are still to be done here.
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