His Love

I've wanted to write this for a while now, but every time I try I end up staring at the blinking cursor lost for words. Even now I find myself struggling to put into words what is on my heart. When I thought about starting this blog I hesitated because I didn't know whether or not I wanted to open up like this on the Internet, but I know that God wants us to share our lives with one another. If what I am going through and what God is teaching me can touch one heart, then I say it's worth it and I trust that He will do that.

This journey, this time of transition continues to be difficult in many ways. I often find myself thinking about how I thought my life would go and how so far God has had other plans. Some days are better than others, but I'm finding life hard, overwhelming and confusing right now. In these times my response is usually to run from God, silly I know, but I find that because I'm so angry a lot of it gets directed to God. I'm working on turning to Him in these times and as always He shows Himself so very faithful.

A couple of days ago I was crying out to God in my hurt and frustration, asking Him to show me His love because I was feeling as if He had abandoned me. In His gentleness He reminded me to look around. So often I think we compartmentalize the "spiritual" things and the "non-spiritual" things when really God created it all to begin with. I was expecting God to show me something elaborate, but instead He reminded me of His love that I experience on a daily basis. A starry sky, the beauty of a tulip, gently falling snow and a delicious piece of chocolate - we enjoy these things because He created them and He loves us. A cup of tea with a friend, a much needed hug, a card in the mail - when I asked Him to show me that He still loves me He flooded my mind with all of these things and at the end of it all He pointed me to the cross.

"Alana, do you want to know that I still love you... look at the cross."

Even in the times when I feel completely and utterly alone He is there and He is continually reminding me of His love each and every day, but most importantly He points me to the cross. He knew me at my very worst, and yet He died for me. Thank You Jesus, thank You.

"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." - Romans 5:8